January 2010
63 posts
“Boy I could find you in the dark.”
– My mom upon seeing me walk around in my underwear. B/c I’m white.
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Lars: I read this quote about why everyone loves blondes.
Steph: What is it?
Lars: Because blondes look pure and innocent and people want to destroy them.
Steph: I want someone to destroy me.
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“No, I’m not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everybody....”
– Via Shit My Dad Says
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“I kind of want a tramp stamp.”
– Meg Levin
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Phone Conversations: Grandmaman
Grandmaman: How long are you coming for?
Stephanie: A week.
Grandmaman: A week?! I thought you would come for a month!
Stephanie: No, just a week.
Grandmaman: Oh, I thought we could go to Massachusetts. Why only a week?
Stephanie: I have to work.
Grandmaman: Seems such a long way to come for a week.
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But Can She Read?
Best Buy Guy 1: Did you see that Italian movie I was telling you about?
Best Buy Guy 2: No, haven't...Italian? Is the whole movie in Italian?
Best Buy Guy 1: Yeah.
Best Buy Guy 2: So, it's got subtitles?
Best Buy Guy 1: Yeah.
Best Buy Guy 2: Aw, I hate that shit dawg. I'm not reading a movie.
Best Buy Guy 1: I just wanted to see it because of the actress.
Best Buy Guy 2: She's hot.
Best Buy Guy 1: Yeah.
A Real Crisis →
Conan's Statement
steveagee:
People of Earth: In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are...
50 reasons why California is better than your...
simpsonbrothers:
uprightcitizens:
The Pacific Ocean.
The Sierra Nevadas.
75-degree weather in January if you live down south.
Snow if you live up north.
Rain and fog if you live in the bay area.
Los Angeles.
San Francisco.
San Diego.
We popularized surfing.
The entertainment industry lives here.
Legal gambling all over the place.
Disneyland.
Sea World.
More than half of the...
“You become an artist out of necessity.”
“I’m saving my pipes for the American Idol audition on Monday.”
– Dan Flood on not singing.
On Ed Hardy
Steph: It just looks ridiculous.
Lars: Yeah and it's kind of gay. Why are you walking around wearing a rainbow tiger that's all bedazzled.
“Kablamo! Another successful interaction with a man!”
– Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) on 30 Rock
Sums up my entire dating career. I do everything you’re not supposed to do, am too talkative and don’t know how to keep my thoughts to myself. Dating would be so much easier if I didn’t have a brain…or a heart…or a soul.
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NBC Shakeup -- Jay Leno Comes Out on Top →
lifeofbk:
Conan is losing his timeslot to Leno. What the fuck are the people at NBC smoking?
I heard this rumor a few months ago and I didn’t believe it…still unsure if I fully believe it. More importantly, what’s going to happen to the tram bits???
The Ketchup Incident of '95
Autumn. 1995. 8.75 years old. Curios. Klutzy. Ketchup Packet. White Walls.
These were the ingredients used to produce one of the most infamous events of my childhood.
My mom was helping my sister get ready while I waited downstairs to go to roller-skating lessons. Me+time on my hands=dangerous situation. I was antsy and bored and curious. While trying to figure out what to do with myself, my...
All's Fair In Love And Cookies
“If an old person is depriving you of cookies, knock their dentures out monkey style.” —Lars
“Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time...”
– Rodney Dangerfield (via themanyadventuresoflars)
I probably expose myself too much, too often.
